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Monday, 4 May 2015

Bank Holiday Procrastination

Today is Bank Holiday Monday and although its been a fairly reasonable day weather wise, the whole weekend has been chilly, raining, cloudy and windy.  Pretty much  miserable really and I still feel like that sitting here.  I met Frank on Saturday and we had a little trip to Upminster, had some breakfast and then just looked around for a while.  We picked up Tammie and went to stay at his Mums home and rested.  Thats all we could do really, rest.  Nothing to do, could not really go anywhere because of having pup with us so we ate, drank hot drinks.  Frank read his book, he read a whole book in one day and I knitted 4 squares onto my mitred blanket. Then I picked up the last ball of Rico Loopy and knitted another two scarves.

We had been wanting to find the loopy yarn to make some scarves that his Mum wanted so she could give them as Christmas Presents.  Anyway, to cut a boring story short I have made 12 of them since March.  They knit up really quickly using a size 7mm needles and you only have 5 stitches.  Heres a photo for you to see them all together..

The yarn was purchased at Hobbycraft, Romford and they were £3 a ball. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking about things this weekend, felt down in the dumps wondering when things are going to change for my family.  I think up scenarios and dwell on them and know I should not, so I then reminisce about the past good times and feel thankful.  I want to do so much more with my life, I truly believe that if you have been given a talent you should try your best and make things happen and for me, my crafts, should be giving me the financial security i need and the experience to give to others.  Procrastinating is not always a good thing when your depression becomes low because like now, I get really angry and frustrated with myself because I have to work 40 hours a week to keep a roof over my head without any luxuries.  Plus its a job I find frustrating, restrictive and secluded.

Anyway, Im not going to dwell anymore, I have decided that I need to make more positive actions around my home and life and to start the ball rolling I will be spending an hour after work every day putting something positive into the house, whether it be some cleaning, a little decorating that I can afford or just pottering about in the garden.  My thoughts are into starting my jogging again too, it really perks your energy levels up and because my eating is more comforting than anything, I dont want any weight to pile on.  

The mired blanket is going really well, I do a lot of thinking when I am knitting it and here is a photo of it in my project bag I made many moons ago.

I made an effort today and did a lot of tidying up and 4 wash loads so far and its only 5.30pm.  The forecast is rain early evening and its getting rather dodgy outside and I still have to walk Tammie so I am off to get some more bits done before I settle down for the evening.

Sorry if I sound miserable!  Have a good week and take care.

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