January 7th

Frank left this morning about 9am and I have been trying so hard to not get upset.  I have got use to having him around these past two weeks and to go from having company to not seeing anyone day in and day out,  it is going to be very hard this week.  

I ended up getting dressed, doing a bit of housework and thinking about a word that I could remind myself of every time I am upset and it has worked a little.  I sat down about 10am and have watched a couple of podcasts, drank lots of tea and chatted to my sister to find out how my Grandson is.  I have been working on a scrap project that is using 2 double knit strands held together and here is a photo of it so far.

My intention is to knit long strips and sew them together to make a large rug for my front room, it will be a long term project and I am concentrating on just that at the moment because it does not take any thought.  I have some more Crofter DK to make another pair of socks for me but at the moment I am just going to binge knit the rug.

Both my animals are sulking and are by my side since Frank went home, they seem to know when I am down.  This is Tipsy who has not moved much at all and would not look round for a photo opportunity.  It is rather cold here today and I have a crochet blanket over my lap and she always snuggles on it.

Tammie is sitting the other side of me on the blanket and doing the same thing as Tipsy, she keeps looking out for Frank at times and it must be hard for animals to understand.

I have been worrying about something today and waiting for a phone call. I had a nap with the animals for a short while and then I took Tammie out for her walk about 2.30pm.  My sister Michelle rang with reasonably good news and although I am relieved a little, I still feel like it should be me and it is very very hard for me to realise that I cannot cope.

The thought that I have to carry on as normal tomorrow, job searching, trying to deal with every day things just makes me want to remain in bed every day and not go out anywhere.

I hope tomorrow is a good day, PLEASE!